The month of existing and a left turn

Last night while taking Pappy outside to go potty, like always, he rushed out the door in front of me and I quickly ran behind him to catch up. But before I could make my way over to him, he noticed our next door neighbor in their front yard. Tail and ears perked up - Pappy quickly rushed to the right. I tried my best to pull him back but the fresh snow on the ground and my cheap Target winter boots gave me zero traction. As a result, I was pulling with all my weight while sliding along the snow - and Pappy was pulling - in the opposite direction - with all his strength, making his way to our neighbor.

Sliding along and holding him back with all my might, I slipped on the ice in our driveway and fell flat on my ass while getting dragged across the cold, wet snow.

"Are you okay?" My concerned neighbor called out. By this time, Pappy had stopped pulling and turned around to check on me.

"I'm fine," I exhaled.

THAT - my dear friends - is a perfect example of how this month has been. Trying to keep my balance, trying to get a grip, and trying my best to stay in control or just on my two feet. But, ultimately -- failing. And miserably at that.

And apparently -- I only blog once a month now (?!?) So, sorry about that...The bulk of this post is pictures, but it is long. Try to stay with me.

Sadly, I'm already over 2016. It's just been a rough start. At best, I could say that I've only existed this month. Not in a super depressed or low way. But more so, I've just managed to keep my head above water. Day by day. In autopilot.

 And the problem with this autopilot, is that I'm not all that great while in it. Like AT ALL. My house has never been messier. My to-do list has never been longer. And I hardly ever cook - so we're eating shit food all the time. On top of that, eleventy unexpected events happened over and over and over again  -- and it became even harder to just keep it all together.

My sleep is still a major issue -- my meds are barely helping. And more times than not -- I'm often too tired to do ANYTHING after work (whether its calling a friend or my mom back, folding the laundry, cooking dinner, watching TV, ANYTHING).

I used to be driven, productive and on top of the world ALL the time. And I hate how I've been the complete opposite lately....

I'm just so exhausted trying to be as strong as I used to be.

ALSO: there was this:

And this:

And yes, even this:

 After a long and beautiful Christmas break, Matt and I headed back to work on January 4th...

We returned home to----- well...

In a nutshell, after not being crated for over two weeks - Wally (half Australian Shepherd AKA BRAIN and half Pit Bull AKA BRAWN) officially figured out how to escape out of his crate.

^^^ That was the aftermath.  I'm embarrassed to say that he chewed up our couch cushions and 90% of my book collection. The couch cushions -- three of them -- cost more to replace than buying a whole new couch altogether.

Our dishwasher is also still broken, and we will need to replace that as well. And our carpet is shot to hell due to the never-ending practice of potty training first the boys, and now Charlotte. It has soaked into our pad - and it's past the point of repair. Yay?

 

On a late FREEZING Monday night (around 11:30 pm and -5 outside), I left my friend's house and made it about 10 ft before realizing that I had a flat tire. Three or so hours later, I finally made it home. The next day, I took the car into the shop to have the tire replaced and learned that all four tires needed to be replaced and we also needed an alignment. Totaling around $600.

A week or so before that, I heard someTHING moving around our garage late at night. I quickly looked in the direction that the noise was coming from and saw the bottom half of what looked like a brown RAT. Freaked out BEYOND BELIEF, I immediately called in the professionals the next morning.  Knowing the only thing separating our garage and master bedroom was a thin piece of drywall, I needed to get it corrected - FOR MY SANITY - as soon as possible.

Our house is ten years old. So fairly new construction. In a subdivision. There are not ANY holes in our garage that would allow a critter inside, and yet, I could hear that little asshole moving around every single night. Pest control came out, we spent $150+ and found out that THANK GOD - it wasn't a rat -- but a VOLE.  Have you ever heard of such a thing?

He must have slipped inside while the garage door was open (which is always less than a five minute span) and I was THRILLED to find out that they don't cause damage to drywall - or try to get inside - and they have zero interest in being near anyone. We set up traps - and I haven't heard him in a few nights. RIP cute little vole.

ADDITIONALLY -

These two little darlings have cost us more than $400 this month in vet bills. Wally, from eating everything under the sun (books, chewed up wood, couch cushion, etc.) after his escape and as a result, bleeding internally. And Charlotte, from a urine test, an eye test, a yearly heartworm test, and medicine for her eyes.

SOOOOOOOOOOO - as I'm sure you're all guessing already -- we are broke. Not really. But shit has gotten real and we're super tight. OF COURSE, this all happened the month after Christmas (after I went a little overboard). The good news is that we are on the upswing financially. But OMFG!!!!!!!!!!

And now in an attempt to focus on the positives, a long list of my left turns (happy things):

Dad treated us to an Ice Hogs game in his bosses' suite.

We attended our pups' rescue's bowling event with family - Matt's Grandma got a turkey and beat nearly everyone!

Our puppies were featured in the Adopt Me calendar!!

We had our first Fennel family fun day -

Three years ago almost exactly to the day, Matt and I were getting our marriage license:

Bachelor, wine and besties on Monday nights are the best

So is when a work friend becomes your soul sister --

 

Pappy and Wally look-alikes are on Facebook -

As well as this comic that always makes me think of Charlotte:

Cuddling Aria and seeing a pic of Lily's first pigtails were beyond heartwarming

And my father-in-law won a MAJOR AWARD at work and his coworkers had these shirts made (and wear them regularly): TEAM FENNEL!

I love my new shirt - its my fav.

And this is the best invention ever [WANT!!!]:

Happy Birthday to my two nieces and two besties: Katelin, Emilee, Carmy and Ashley!!!

 

Matt's and my dating anniversary is on January 28th - SEVEN YEARS!

 And our wedding anniversary is February 16th - THREE YEARS!

Our marriage in a nutshell:

 But by far the BEST positive in our lives is our little family.

We may not look like your average family - and this life is definitely not for everyone. Without them, our wallets would be full and our house would be clean - but our lives would be empty. 

Our kids have paws and the best part of our day is coming home to their wet noses, slobbery kisses and wagging tails. They are little heartbeats at our feet and our hearts are paved in their pawprints.

The cats are in charge. The rest of us just live here.

For the record:

I have officially finished Making a Murderer - and I still think he is guilty, but I don't think it happened the way the officials say it did. 

Also, I love the related memes.

I never made a New Year's resolution - and I'm not mad about it. 

How many times have I promised to go vegan again, work out, or start eating healthy??? 

This year?  I'm focusing on this:

AND not just "existing" on autopilot -- but BLOOMING every single day. I hate feeling unproductive, or like life is literally kicking my ass. I am determined to be fabulous -- or at least functional?

 I am SO DONE with Winter and cannot wait for Spring.

I will be the first to admit that snow is insanely beautiful and NOTHING is cuter than a puppy's nose covered in snow.

BUT

 Spring will bring us a fence and other home updates. PLUS - I have plans to plant perennials, clean out the garage, de-clutter, and SO ON!!! [more details to come!] Spring just brings LIFE back to everything. And I'm desperate for a breath of fresh air right now. 

Lastly, the dogs are still not trained - at all. OBVI. But that is about to change, because I'm starting a new book TODAY.

But seriously....

February will be better, right?