My New Year's Resolution

....... I haven't even started yet, Nor do I think it will last long.

But we'll go with it now.

I'm sure you all have noticed in the sixty posts I wrote last year that I have been determined to live a healthier lifestyle, eat better, and get somewhat back into shape. I'm sure you all have also noticed that I failed epically at each one.

Diets/Fads I've tried:

Juicing

Gluten Free

Eating Vegetarian

(not shown and embarrassingly) Body by Vi

Workout regimens I've tried:

P90-x,

"Running" a 5K

Daily walks around our pond in the neighborhood

(my personal favorite): promising you all that I would *one day* run a marathon.

Oh my dear readers, I'm so sorry for the lies.

I'm so sorry for putting you through my fads, my hippie lifestyle, and my "loud talk" of getting healthier.

The truth of the matter is that I would love to have somewhat of a workout regimen. It helps me feel better about myself, it gives me more energy, and most importantly, it clears my mind. Because -- after all, clearing my mind is most important. I'm sure you all have also noticed (in my previous posts) that I'm a anxious person----

Yes, ladies and gentleman: Jaclyn has an anxiety disorder.

At first, around five years ago, I was very embarrassed about this and tried hiding it from everyone I knew. Now in my older age, I've learned to embrace my imperfections and learn from them. The optimistic person in me would say that my anxiety introduced me to writing this blog, journaling, and cooking. For all these things help me relax. My anxiety also keeps our house spotless -- as keeping my house clean is one of the only things I can control in life. And - we always have a plan! (See Christmas in Chicago) Even if they don't always go right....

My Type A personality and OCD (thanks to my highlighted planner) help the bills get paid on time, get meals planned for the next week, and keep our bank account on budget so "X amount" can go to savings and "Y amount” can go to tithing. Most importantly, through these tough times, I've learned more about myself, my husband, my friends, and just -- life in general. Although, I think these just come with age, too....

"I'm not afraid of storms for I'm learning how to sail my ship."

Up until two months ago, I did well relying on blogging, journaling, cooking, and cleaning to keep me calm (all while driving my husband and my mother bonkers). But it was in November that I swallowed my pride. I agreed to anxiety meds. Times has just gotten too tough -- as hypocritical as that feels after writing my last post.

How dare I say times are tough?

We are so blessed and have so much more than a lot of people. I have an amazing husband. A wonderful family. True friends that I could go to for anything. A great job and a beautiful home. But truth be told: times did get tough. Personal things that I can't even share with you (my readers) made the holidays very difficult at times. My faith, my husband, my family, and my friends got me through.

And I learned a lot of things. More than I could ever imagine.

I shocked myself at how strong I am, but even more with how strong my faith is. I've learned that my husband is the best person I've ever known and I'm reminded on a daily basis of how lucky I am. He is far better of a person than I am and his laid back view on life helps balance my crazy, hectic, MUST-GET-THINGS-DONE personality. Even more so, he is so in love with me. And he lets me know that every day. And damn, I've put him through the ringer. Taking my stress on life out on him, criticizing him, correcting him, and never just letting things go. And yet, his love for me never falters. He continues to remind me that I'm beautiful, that he'll always love me, be here for me, that things will work out, and that everything will be okay. He is my strength and my rock. And I need him just as much as I need air. At times I know I don't deserve such an amazing, intelligent, charming, and loving husband, but I'm so thankful I have him anyway.

I've been reminded that blood is thicker than water and that my family will always be there for us. My mom, dad, sister, and inlaws couldn't have done more for us this year. And I love them dearly.

My friends! My true friends. I've learned in the past year (more so than ever) that true friends are very hard to come by. And a true friend can be someone who lives 350 miles away, a friend you only talk to maybe once a month, or a friend who you grew up with, parted ways, and several years later is still there for you when no one else seems to be. Life gets busy and it takes a real effort to be a true friend -- to be there -- to comfort, to love, and to listen. For those who have, I'm forever grateful for you. I've been lucky to meet a ton great friends. I really have. But I'm truly blessed to have my true friends.

I've learned life is a gift and I'm an old soul. I couldn’t tell you the latest fashion trend, the most popular song on the radio, or what's going on with any celebrity at this point --and quite frankly -- I don't care. I'd rather listen to Frank all night long with a good glass of wine, my husband, a board game, and a couple of great friends than ever go out to any over packed bar. Maybe it’s Wisconsin and the simple life. Maybe its marriage and not seeing the point of these things anymore. But what I really think it is – is that I’ve learned (at a very young age) to not take anything for granted. Dreams, ideas, people, and things can be taken away so quickly and no one is entitled to anything. All of the superficial things in life don’t matter. I think (and hope) at one point, everyone realizes this. I feel that I realized it at a much earlier age than most. Maybe it’s certain things I’ve been through that made me learn this so quickly, but once I learned this – it was so liberating and life changing. I’ve learned to stop wanting more. To stop envying what other people have. To be happy and thankful for everything God has given me. And to never take one second or one blessing for granted. To be quite honest, I shouldn’t make plans. I have no idea what the future holds and it’s not up to me. The best I can do is have faith, pray, and hope for the best.

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not onto your own understanding"

Proverbs 3:5

I read an article a couple weeks ago -- 40 things I can do at 40 that I couldn't do at 20 -- and it was definitely, 100%, without a doubt, written for older women. But what the heck?! I act like old anyways…In all seriousness, I'm happy and proud to say that I can do a lot of these things at 27 and I'm excited to see what I will learn in 2014 and the several years the come.

So my New Year's Resolution???


Yoga at least three times a week.

What? You didn't get that from my sappy rant above? Sorry. It started out wanting to live a healthier lifestyle and doing something that will help clear my mind. What's better than yoga?!?


What I want to improve:
Counting my blessings
Appreciating and loving my husband more and more everyday
Being a better daughter, a better sister, and a better friend.