I don't mind spending everyday, out on the corner in the pouring rain, looking for the girl with the broken smile, to ask her if she'd like to stay for awhile.
And she will be loved.
In rescuing dogs, I've lost my mind.
This week, we are celebrating the boys' first "gotcha day" - the day we officially adopted them and they became ours.
It's incredible to think of all the things that have changed since bringing them home last year. We were right in the middle of looking into adoption agencies, wondering how in the hell we were ever going to afford adoption, and still healing from the heartbreaking infertility diagnosis.
And just like that, our worlds changed. These two little boys made us parents. They brought so much joy, love, and chaos into our lives. They helped us heal. They made us excited for our future and happy in the everyday present.
Throughout infertility, we were always told to "Trust in God's plan" and that "His plan was better than anything we could have ever imagined for ourselves."
To be honest, I really struggled with that. My faith never completely went away, but I DID question whether or not there truly was a plan for all of us. And I continued questioning that for the past year.
Until now.
Before getting the boys, I never knew of the importance of adopting verses purchasing through a petstore or breeder. I mean, let's be real. I was in the middle of communicating with several breeders when I found Pappy on Petfinder, and we were minutes away from purchasing a puppy from Furbabies but decided not to due to price.
And now, while yes, I understand the importance of breeding to prevent specific breeds from going extinct, I also wholeheartedly believe that a family pet should be adopted through a rescue - leaving full bred dogs for show.
Knowing that some breed specific puppies (yorkies or frenchies, for example) sell for 2-3 thousand dollars and that adoption fees are around $200 which include all vetting - it just didn't make sense to me anymore. There are so many homeless, well behaved, adorable dogs in shelters - and if they're not adopted, they're euthanized for make space for more.
And please don't be mistaken: thousands of rescue dogs are puppies - who are well cared for, with their mom until 8 weeks, living in a loving foster home, and are well socialized.
I think people assume that because dogs are in a rescue or shelter that something is wrong with them. And that is absolutely not true. More times than not, they are equally healthy and socialized but given up and thrown in shelters for the most ridiculous reasons: I moved, the dog is too big, too energetic, we had a baby, etc.
If I could be remembered for ONE thing: I hope it's that I was the voice for these animals. The voiceless. Bringing awareness to shelters, factory farming, asinine breed specific laws, and so much more.
The sad truth is that four million dogs enter shelters every single year. Half of them are euthanized for lack of space - and around one million of those dogs are pitbulls.
The statistics are staggering. Eye opening and absolutely heartbreaking.
"I always thought someone should do something about that... then I realized that I'm that someone."
Which is absolutely crazy for me to even consider, because ever since I was a child, I planned on being a Mommy. But these experiences - infertility, bringing home the boys, and learning about rescues and shelters - completely changed our lives, our perspectives, and our wants.
And just like that, instead of being a Mom, I wanted to help save dogs.
Her eyes grabbed me immediately. I don't know if her look was of desperation, sadness, fear, or just a desire to belong. But I couldn't look away. The caption read:
Foster Needed!!! Charlotte: Good with cats. Good with dogs. Good with everybody!
I had always wanted to foster - but between Pappy's vet bills, Wally getting medicated for worms, and Lulu refusing to use the litter box because she despised the dogs -- it just was not possible.
But last Thursday, I reconsidered. All dogs were healthy and officially potty trained. Lulu was content and learning to accept the boys - and thank God! - finally going potty in the right place.
So, what was my excuse now??
After showing Matt her picture, and him agreeing to foster - I reached out to Anne, the president of Adopt Me. It was during that conversation, that I learned what her eyes were saying...
Charlotte was found in February walking down a dirt road in North Carolina, carrying her dead puppy in her mouth. The people who found her took the puppy, and she led them back down the road to her remaining litter who all later on died from the cold as well.
Her eyes said it all. We shared the same broken heart. A mother's loss - wanting your babies to be alive, here, and well with you.
At that second, I knew. She had to come home with us.
The following morning, I volunteered with the rescue to help intake the transport of dogs. Around 8:30 AM, a van of 40 homeless, frightened, and abandoned dogs arrived in Anne's driveway. We let each dog out of their carrier, put them into a crate, gave them food, water and treats, walked them, gave them flea and tick, and filled out adoption and fostering paperwork.
"The sadness I feel looking into cages is nothing compared to how it must feel looking out."
There was a flood of emotions. My heart mourned for each and every dog - but at the same time, I was overcome with tears of joy knowing that all of them were starting a new life. Each and every one of those sweet babies would be adopted to wonderful homes. No matter how long it took - they never had to fear euthanasia again. "Adopt Me" saved forty lives that morning- and it was an honor to be a small part of it.
The most surreal thing about it is that while most of the other dogs howled, barked, and cried in fear - Charlotte sat in her crate and watched me the entire time. It's almost as if she knew I was there for her.
Before leaving, we treated Charlotte for flea and tick, took her to go potty, and I received her file of paperwork. I loaded her into the backseat of our car - and left to pick up Matt from work.
We stopped by Mounds Pet Store and bought her a similar collar to P&W's, a toy, and some treats. Three people stopped me in the store saying how well behaved and beautiful Charlotte was.
She truly was amazing. She was calm. Loving. Attentive. She rarely left my side, and when she did, a simple "Charlotte" brought her right back to me.
Matt rode in the backseat with her on the way home - and I think by the time we pulled into the driveway - we had both fallen in love.
We introduced the boys to Charlotte during a walk - and they got along fabulously. After bringing her inside, she was completely submissive to the boys and paid little attention to Ernie and Lulu walking around.
It was amazing in that Charlotte seemed to calm the boys down. Even while being submissive, the boys seemed more well behaved around her. That night, Lulu jumped onto the couch with Charlotte and I, and slept near us. ****Which let me just say, after a full year -- she has never gotten this close to the boys.
Ernie walked straight up to Charlotte, and rubbed his head against her face. Within minutes, Charlotte was giving him kisses.
She followed me everywhere. The boys were still a little unsure of her - and to be honest - we were, too. The more she grew comfortable, the more she challenged Pappy and Wally. We didn't want Wally to get picked on (from Pappy, and now, Charlotte, too) - and we didn't want Pappy to feel as though his "alpha" role was getting taken from him.
We read a lot!!! And every article online said to let nature take it's course when dogs are figuring out their pack status. And within a couple of days - Charlotte had become the pack leader.
But not in an aggressive way. More so, a motherly way. Weighing in a 45 pounds, while Pappy is 60 and Wally is 55, she could easily win any fight against them (NOT saying that would EVER happen). She is pure muscle, but has never had to show her impeccable strength. I think the boys just get it. They respect her. They notice her calm nature and they respond to it. When the boys are wrestling too much, or when they get a little too rowdy - Charlotte just has to walk into the room or stand in between them, and they settle down. She did in two days what I couldn't do in ONE YEAR.
Which is truly miraculous because the boys never knew their mom, and Charlotte never mothered her babies. It's incredible how things magically work themselves out.
That's not to say it's all been easy. I've cried more than enough. I didn't want Pappy or Wally to think we had replaced them. Or that they weren't good enough. Charlotte was my shadow and demanded as much love and attention as she could get. Resulting in less cuddle time and affection with Pappy (my normal shadow).
It's been really, really hard on me. To be honest, I don't think it even phases Pappy. He still gets attention when he wants it and has another play buddy. But I noticed since bringing her home, he was following me less and not as interested in cuddling with me. And it absolutely broke my heart.
Then last night - things went back to normal. My 60 lb baby found his way back into my arms.
And for that moment, all was right in the world. My heart was happy.
Pictures from the last week (lots of cuddling and naps!):
Charlotte fits beautifully in our home and family. The first couple of days, she was such a light sleeper and her eyes still displayed feelings of unknown, loss, sadness, and fear. And then after awhile, but also all of the sudden - while playing with the boys - she smiled. And she smiled BIG. Her eyes beamed with happiness - and that night, she snored even louder than Matt, Pappy, and Wally. She was comfortable. Secure. Safe. and Loved.
She was home.
Smile, Little Mama. And keep smiling.
Charlotte has been battling the Madison seasonal allergies (who hasn't?!), and originally house broken - is still getting adjusted, with few potty accidents in the house.
But most importantly, she is happy and she is safe. Never again will she feel alone or scared. I cannot even begin to describe how wonderful it is to have a part in saving her life.
Before our Alabama trip, I purchased the book: The Lost Dogs - a story that followed all of Michael Vick's rescued fighting dogs and their redemption, adoptions, and new lives. I never read it on vacation, and I've been meaning to for so long.
Last week, I grabbed the book to start - and was shocked when I looked at the cover.
A female brindle pitbull - who you could tell was a mother that previously nursed her puppies - and an exact spitting image of our darling, Charlotte.
The fact is: we don't know much about her. She is from NC. The vets estimate her to be about 2-3 years old. Prior to being found with her puppies, her life is unknown.
Earlier in the week, I scolded Pappy who was (as always) being naughty. Charlotte happened to be right next to him. In the middle of scolding Pappy, Charlotte panicked. She froze. Her ears went back, her tail went in between her legs, and she rolled over into the submissive position. She was beyond terrified.
My scolding was a simple: NO!
And Charlotte acted as if I was about to beat her.
From there, I knew she has lived a far worse life than I could have ever imagined. She has been traumatized. Scarred. And her nightmares can easily come back at any given moment. I don't know if she was a fighting dog. A bait dog. Or just abused beyond recognition. I don't know.
What I DO know is that she is sensitive and loving, and all she wants to do is make someone happy.
I teared up watching her reaction - and I convinced myself I could never give her away knowing that someone may be too hard on her while disciplining - or God forbid - hit her.
Which brings us to the most important question: Is Charlotte up for adoption??
My cop out answer: I don't know.
As of now, we are fostering her. We will be starting obedience classes on Tuesday evening, and I will be sending Anne photos and a bio so she can be listed on PetFinder. But with that being said, we may be the ones who end up adopting her. Matt has made up his mind. He wants her. Forever and Always.
I am in limbo because if we adopt her, we won't be able to foster any more dogs (who so desperately need a loving home while up for adoption)- and it goes to show how much we SUCK at "fostering".
IF you are interested on her, please contact me. I will be open and honest - and let you know if or when we decide to keep her.
One thing though: the horrible life that she likely went through AND survived has not broken her. She LOVES people and shows zero signs of aggression. It's amazing to think that these animals can be abused, neglected, beaten, starved, fought for sport, and so on - and still have an immense love and dedication to their humans. Dogs are honestly the best - And Pitbulls, most of all.
And then there were three:
So yeah, in rescuing dogs..... I've lost my mind.
But I've found my soul.
Want to see the pups at play? And how a bed can get completely destroyed in less than four minutes? (THIS IS WHY WE DON'T MAKE THE BED, YA'LL!)
Click play.
