Botched Easter

My mom and dad PROMISE that I did a great job hosting Easter. But really, you guys. THEY'RE MY PARENTS and they have to say that.

In my opinion, it was "meh" - Sad, I know. It was just an off day for me (and Pappy)

More on that later....

The boys woke me up around 5:30 AM (second weekend day IN A ROW) which let me get a jump start on putting the sweet potatoes in the slow cooker, making the salad, setting the table, prepping the ham glaze - so on, and so forth.

 All five of us (Pappy, Wally, Ernie, Lulu, and myself) could NOT wait any longer to start the Easter celebration, so we woke up Matt by 8 AM.

Instead of an Easter egg hunt, we had a bone hunt (for the pups). CUTE, RIGHT?! Well, we had assumed and hoped that our pups would be able to use their super smelling senses to find them hidden under blankets and pillows.... and well, I'll just let you watch for yourself. Ignore the part where I call them stupid. 

#puppymotheroftheyear

So, the Easter Bunny brought us a TON of stuff. Two knuckle bones for the pups, two appetizer meals for the kitties, chew toys, cat nip, and LOTS of treats (jelly beans for us!).

 We rescued a white-cheek crested gibbon in the Fennel's name through World Wildlife Fund

and Matt and I got two lokai bracelets!

Lokai Bracelets: the coolest thing in the world (in the opinion of super hippy-dippy Jaclyn)

From their website, mylokai.com:

 

"Each lokai is infused with elements from the highest and lowest points on Earth. The bracelet's white bead carries water from Mt. Everest, and its black bead contains mud from the Dead Sea. These extreme elements are a reminder to the wearer to live a balanced life - staying humble during life's peaks and hopeful during its lows."

AND the blue beads represent water. Profits go to countries in need of fresh, clean water!!!

Pretty freakin' cool, huh???

A Balanced Life

Well, I sure as shit wish I would have remembered that DURING HOSTING.

Church was lovely. Like always.

So, back to the botched Easter:

I will spare you most of the details and just say that this bracelet should probably teach me a thing or two about balance. I can't help but laugh when I  think about it, though, because the two most closest men in my life (husband and Dad) knew to stay as FAR away from me as possible. They know me so very well.

Remember how in the previous post I said, "ohhhh blah blah blah. I was born to cook. I love hosting. Cooking. Hosting. Happy Place. Bullshit. Bullshit. BULLSHIT."

Um, yeah. NOT WHEN YOU'RE HOSTING 11 PEOPLE (three of which are young kids) AND YOU HAVE TWO EXTREMELY ROWDY PUPPIES!! Speaking of puppies: Pappy had explosive diarrhea all over the house just thirty minutes before people got there.

Knuckle Bone: 1
Pappy: 0

Matt quickly shampooed the carpet, then took both boys for a walk around the neighborhood. I stayed in the kitchen attending to the ham, and the stove, and the oven, and the guests. Eventually, I called Matt and demanded that he come back home to help entertain because I was four dishes behind, it was already 1:30 pm, everyone was there, and dinner was supposed to be at 2pm!

Bring in the monsters.

Pappy and Wally were inside for about five minutes before we decided to leash them in the backyard. They wanted to jump and kiss everyone, and my two tiny nieces and one 2-yr old nephew were terrified of the super strong, super excited puppies.

Matt grabbed a beer and took them in the back. I cooked some more with my anxiety levels rising higher and higher because:

 I'M LATE. I'M LATE.

Mom kept telling me to chill.  My homemade mac-n-cheese wasn't tasting right. The broth was boiling over in the lentil dish. My sweet potato casserole looked like watery baby food. I somehow had already ran out of silverware. And I burnt the most BASIC thing: dinner rolls.

No, I don't have a plastic cup. Yes, the whisk is in this drawer. Oh, look. Pappy has diarrhea again. Where is Matt? Where is the oven mitt?  

WHERE IS MY WINE?!?!

Sigh. 

So, the botched Easter.

I will use this as a learning experience: 

• I need to buy some plastic cups for the kids. 
• I need more silverware. 
• I need more plates. 
• I should always have enough aluminum foil on hand to use for leftovers. 
• And I should always, always double check to see that we have enough dish washer soap, especially before hosting. 
• Most importantly: I should learn to live a balanced life

My mom always says: You need to take up yoga, or something. Calm down.

Um, thanks, Mom. I think? 

At least the food tasted good.

All in all, the puppies did GREAT. Once they calmed down, they were able to enjoy the beautiful weather outside and hang out with Matt while he drank his beer and ate his Easter meal off of a plastic dinner plate. Oh, and we definitely have diggers.

Our yard will be covered in potholes before we know it.

After everyone left, we were all pooped.

 Pappy was still having tummy issues, so I ran to Woodmans (COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED) to grab rice, broth, pumpkin, and dishwasher soap.

Matt and Ernie watched OPENING DAY for the Cubs. GO CUBS GO!

Too bad they lost.

 Pappy's tummy never got better.

And he started itching his ears and mange spots like crazy last night, which means:

Mange is back (confirmed with test results from Dr. Gerbig) and we're supposed to watch his tummy for the next 48 hrs. Imodium and a bland diet. If he doesn't improve, she will call in a prescription in a couple days. Dr. Gerbig said the mange likely came back from all of the stress from neutering/surgery. She We hope one round of meds will clear it up, and we'll check back in two weeks to HOPEFULLY see improvement.

Ernie is still limping. And I got my first official battle scar from cooking.

At least I have pretty flowers.

Balance.